The Difference

The year was 1996.


I remember driving from Wichita to Norman, Oklahoma with a college friend to attend another friend's bridal shower.


Somehow, the topic of artificial contraception came up during that drive.


My friend knew that I was Catholic.  She also knew that the Catholic Church opposes artificial contraception.  She also knew that the Catholic Church encourages responsible family planning through the use of Natural Family Planning.


What she didn't know was why Natural Family Planning was different from artificial contraception given that preventing pregnancy was seemingly the objective in both methods.


And so she asked me.  A logical choice of persons to ask, I suppose.


The only problem was...


I didn't know the answer!


At 22 years of age, I was a "cradle Catholic".  I attended 13 years of Catholic school.  I made straight A's in all my religion classes.  The nun who taught me my Senior year apologetics class had a letter I wrote to her from my freshman year in college pinned to the high school bulletin board next to a sign that declared me "Apologist of the Year".


You would think that the "Apologist of the Year" would at least be able to give a logical explanation to this very simple question....


What is the difference between artificial contraception and Natural Family Planning (NFP)?


I didn't have an explanation at the time.  It would take me close to 8 years before I could answer that question in a manner worthy of the title "Apologist of the Year"!


"Apologist of the Year" I am not.  I am just a person who came to know God more intimately and learned to trust Him more fully by embracing an age old teaching against the use of artificial contraception.  


Artificial contraception is an issue in which many Christians feel that the Catholic church is just "behind the times" or "uptight".  You might be surprised to know that up until 1930, all Christian religions, including all the Protestant denominations, opposed artificial contraception.  So did Martin Luther, John Calvin, and the other early reformers.  It was in 1930 that the Anglican church gave in to growing social pressure and announced that contraception would be allowed in some, very limited circumstances.  That was the first major break in Christendom on matters of social morality and it opened up Pandora's box.  Today, every Christian religion has changed its stance and now allows for contraception, likely due to similar social pressures.


Every Christian church except one.


The Catholic church continues to proclaim the historic position that artificial contraception is in conflict with God's natural law, scripture, and Apostolic tradition.


Even if I were "Apologist of the Year", I wouldn't attempt to explain the many, many historic and scriptural reasons for adhering to this teaching.  I could write for hours about how the birth control pill and other forms of contraception have contributed to a frightening decline in the moral character of our country.  I could list statistics showing that the predictions about how the birth control pill would lead to happier marriages, reduce the number of unwanted pregnancies, and control so-called overpopulation were flat out wrong.  The opposite happened.  I could discuss how the founder of this country's largest abortion provider admitted that contraception and abortion are uniquely intertwined.  I could show you the manufacturers insert from the "Plan B" pill that states if an egg is fertilized, the "Plan B" effectively causes an early abortion.  


But I won't.


Instead, I would like to provide an answer to that question that was asked of me so many years ago.


Plain and simple, the difference between artificial contraception and NFP is that one method includes God and another blocks Him out.


Natural Family Planning works within God's natural law and allows families to use a women's regular, God-given fertility cycle to responsibly plan or postpone children.  Someone once told me that if God didn't intend for couples to have an active role in planning their families, He would've made women fertile all the time!  But He didn't!  And the Church has always taught that married couples should cooperate with God in planning their families, provided it is done in a responsible and just manner and is done with proper motivation.


The difference is that even when a couple has prayerfully discerned a decision to postpone having any additional children, God has not been completely blocked out.  The door is still open for God to reveal His plan should it be different than what they thought it was.  


A couple using NFP never completely closes the door to God's gift of life.


In contrast, artificial birth control always closes that door.  It removes God from the act.


That is the major difference!


There are other differences too.


Did you know that God created the marital act for two purposes?  Those purposes are procreative and unitive, sometimes referred to as "babies and bonding"!  


Artificial contraception violates the procreative purpose of the marital act and in doing so damages the unitive purpose.  


There are so many additional benefits to practicing Natural Family Planning.  I've written before about how Natural Family Planning changes your heart.  It did mine.  


And I am beyond grateful that the Church has not given in to social pressure and changed its stance on this issue as "unpopular" as it might be.  I can truthfully say that were it not for this teaching, I don't know if this precious child would be a part of my life.

She is the difference!

"Sons are a heritage from the Lord,

children a reward from Him...

Like arrows in the hands of a warrior,

are sons born in one's youth.

Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them."

~ Psalm 127:3-5

This week is Natural Family Planning week.  And so I thought I'd share a few facts about NFP:

• It is 99% effective when used properly
• Almost zero abortions result from NFP as opposed to nearly 60% of abortions resulting from failed contraception
• The divorce rate among couples who practice NFP is only .2% in comparison to the national average of 50%
• Couples who practice NFP report better communication and greater intimacy
• NFP enriches the mutual respect and dignity of each spouse
• In contrast to almost all artificial forms of contraception, NFP has NO harmful side effects
• NFP is extremely successful in helping couples of marginal fertility achieve pregnancy

Lastly, please don't read this post as a judgement of those who do use artificial contraception. It is certainly not that.  I, too, have used artificial contraception.  I am simply so grateful that I opened my heart to God's teaching regarding the matter and decided to embrace it,  regardless of how scary it might have felt.  I feel like the "light was turned on" for me.  I share my thoughts because of my experience in hopes that it might encourage someone else to trust God wholeheartedly with their fertility.  

After all, His plan is always best.  

Always.

And now for your viewing pleasure...

I found this series of "commercials" comparing NFP and contraception in a "Mac versus PC" fashion.  They are a bit on the corny side but do highlight some of the differences between NFP and contraception! 

Be sure to pause the blog music on the right so you can hear!