I see my friends who have siblings of the same gender... they play so well together and generally enjoy the same types of things!
Well...
This is what happens when you have siblings of the opposite gender!
Emily prouding playing Basketball in Noah's clothes (while he was asleep, of course!) proclaiming... "I Bubby!"
Noah playing "Beauty Shop" with his stuffed puppies and proudly showing me the curlers that he has placed in this puppies ears!
When I was pregnant with Emily, I remember people asking me if I was prepared to deal with the sibling rivalry and jealousy that is undoubtedly a part of welcoming a new sibling into the family.
Truth be told... I wasn't worried about it!
I wasn't worried because I didn't think it would happen.
Although Noah had been the "only child" for nearly 3 years, I wasn't worried about this so called "jealousy" because his personality was such a gentle one... a real tender-hearted, loving boy. I just couldn't imagine that he would be anything other than loving and protective of his new sister.
And I was right!
When Emily was born, Noah doted on her constantly. He adored her, was gentle with her, called her sweet names, wanted to please her, and was precisely the loving, protective big brother I knew he would be.
And then IT happened!
She started to move...
She started to have the ability to move her arms and touch things that belonged to him!
And to make matters worse, she eventually learned to walk, making his belongings all the more accessible to her!
And all of this reached the pinnacle of "terrible-ness" when she learned to imitate him... wanting to do everything he did and play with everything he played with!
IT started to happen about a year ago, but reached it's nasty peak within the past few months.
IT is the aforementioned "sibling rivalry/jealousy".
And IT has proved to be my most challenging parental obstacle yet!
I'm talking about jealousy so intense that the mere sight of Emily approaching Noah's room makes him break out into a cold sweat, panic, and start to scream the worst two-word-combination in the English language...
It's Miiiiiiine!
Thankfully, this selfishness is reserved only for his sister. He is perfectly content to share his belongings with his friends, family members, or even the 3 year old stranger he made friends with in the middle of Mass last week!
But, his sister?
He simply cannot, will not, does not share with her! Truly, it's worse than just "not sharing", he almost goes into cardiac arrest at the mere thought of her playing with or touching one of his things!
And the worst part?
Emily sees his behavior towards her and naturally, is starting to mimic it!
I've tried everything from discipline, to heartfelt talks, to explaining what Jesus expects from us, to taking away anything that is referred to as "mine", to shouting, to being calm, to time outs, to separations... you name it, I've tried it!
All to no avail!
Until...
I saw this last week...
Both children playing happily together on the stairs?! I couldn't believe it! At first, I thought it was surely a "one time wonder" of an experience, but then a few days later, I saw this...
Whilst they played "beauty shop" with their babies/puppies, I actually didn't hear a scream, shout, or the word (mine) for close to 45 minutes!
So slowly, but surely, I'm beginning to see signs of a breakthrough!
Maybe it's the fact that Emily is now reaching an age where she can actually communicate and play with Noah, but for some reason, I'm starting to see signs of hope that this horrific selfishness might be on the decline.
Take this for example...
They are actually sitting together watching TV and eating a snack! There is no grabbing, no crying, no shoving... it's too good to be true!
Or is it?
Today, we had a gorgeous 52 degree day, and while I attempted to vacuum, this happened outside...
Yep! They happily blew bubbles together for the duration of my vacuuming! When I went to join them, I hesitantly asked Noah to offer Emily a chance to blow the bubbles from his wand (it is easier and makes more bubbles), and much to my surprise...
He did it!
On the first ask!
Without complaining!
And even cheered for her!
And... he did it more than once!
While these newfound displays of camaraderie are brief, at least they are starting to occur! I still hear plenty of the word (mine) from both children, but I'm at least optimistic and hopeful that this is just a normal stage of childhood that will, in due time, pass...
Just in time to add a 3rd sibling into the mix!
And as hopeful as I am, I am no longer as naive as I was the first go-round... I enrolled in the "Love and Logic" parenting class that starts in February and ends just before that 3rd sibling is ready to make her appearance! I'll take all the help I can get...
I have a feeling I'm going to need it!
But alas, all good thoughts and moments must come to an end. As I type these very words, another tantrum has ensued in the basement and I am needed to referee yet another battle of sibling rivalry!
Don't ever doubt it...
The Power of Prayer!
To anyone and everyone who petitioned the Lord on behalf of little Waverley and her family, she wants you to know WHY she is smiling...
The Appelate Court AFFIRMED the lower court's decision!
THEY WON THEIR CASE!
I spoke with Molly a few mintues ago and she told me that she knows, without a doubt, that the ONLY reason they won this case was because of the enormous amount of PRAYER offered on their behalf!
The birth father does have 3 weeks to make an appeal to the Supreme Court, but the Supreme Court is not obligated to hear the case. I know that they will not fully rest until that last legal option has been exhausted, but for today, for NOW, they are rejoicing and celebrating what can only be called...
miraculous news!
THANK YOU to each and every one of you who prayed for them! Don't ever doubt it...
The Power of Prayer!
I think Noah may have a future in the Advertising business, for he seems to have an uncanny ability to regurgitate advertising slogans he sees and hears on commercials... at appropriate times!
A few examples...
After receiving a gift of a set of Titleist golf balls, he excitedly exclaimed...
"Titleist... it's the number 1 ball in golf!"
***
As we were driving around town a few days ago, he spotted a WalMart and said...
"Mom, I didn't know there was a WalMart close by. You should really shop there. You could save money!"
Later that evening, when a WalMart commercial came on, after the slogan "Live Better. Save Money." was announced, he proudly exclaimed...
"Look mom, I told you they said you could save money at WalMart!"
***
And finally, this afternoon, as we drove home from preschool, Noah was proclaiming (for the umpteenth time!) his desire for a "Pillow Pet". When I did not immediately acquiesce, he reasoned with me by saying...
"Mom, they say that 'everyone needs a pillow. Why not have a fun pillow!' And... a pair of PJ's fits right inside!"
How can you argue with the brilliant minds of those Advertising executives?!
Noah has a lot of questions about Heaven. I'm not sure why, and truth be told, sometimes it freaks me out a bit!
Given that his Papa Bob (Vance's dad) LIVES in Heaven, we have reason to discuss it from time to time. Not to mention, Noah is developing quite a little spiritual side and knows that Jesus was born so that we could all live forever in Heaven!
At any rate, as we were passing a cemetery the other day, the following conversation took place...
Noah: What do people do at cemeteries?
Me: (surprised that he even knew the word "cemetery"), Well, cemeteries are special places where people go to remember people who have died and gone to Heaven. When people die on Earth, we bury their bodies in the ground, but we know that they aren't really there because they are in Heaven.
Clearly, this would make absolutely NO sense to a 4 year old because it really doesn't even make sense to me as I type it! Anyway...
Noah: But PaPa Bob did not get buried because he is ALIVE in Heaven, right? God doesn't want people to die in Heaven.
Me: (realizing that my pregnant brain could not come up with an age appropriate explanation for this difficult concept), You are right Noah. PaPa Bob is ALIVE in Heaven! Everyone who goes to Heaven lives FOREVER!
Noah: And Heaven is PERFECT!
Me: Yes, honey, it is PERFECT!
Noah: You can go outside in Heaven... You can play golf in Heaven...
Pause...
They even have potty's in Heaven!!! God has EVERYTHING in Heaven!
Pause...
But He doesn't have needles!
I had to smile!
I guess a 4 year old's perspective of "perfect" means golf everyday, potties, and NO needles!
That sounds pretty good to me, too!
After this portion of the conversation occured, Noah began to ask me questions about another "easy-to-explain" concept... the end of the world!
I don't recall the specifics of how this portion of the conversation went, but at the end it, after a brief time of contemplation, Noah exclaimed...
"Mom, before the end of the world, I really want a pillow pet!"
Finally... I was able to respond without much thought...
"Ok, honey, I think we can make that happen!"
I am fascinated with how a 4 year old's mind works... it mixes obvious and simple truths with concepts that are so complex, many adults can't comprehend them!
You have NO energy... again, and begin having to take afternoon naps... again!
You pack for a weekend trip and forget to pack underwear for your son... and yourself!
Diet Coke starts to taste good again and ice cream with chocolate topping becomes your nightly staple!
You decide to spend your Christmas money on a Shark Steam Mop and a Flex Hand Vacuum!
You pack for an overnight business trip, one in which you are going to be presenting a seminar to 25 highly skilled surgeons, and you forget to pack your makeup brushes... meaning all of your makeup has to be applied with Kleenex and Qtips!
You have an overwhelming urge to clean the garage, and reorganize the playroom, and get up to date on photobooks, and rearrange the furniture, and redecorate the tops of the kitchen cabinets, and wash baby clothes, and touch up paint throughout the house, and plan a March birthday party, and...
You throw your back out and end up in weekly physical therapy sessions because you accidentally forget how large you are and think you are still able to throw your 2 year old up in the air, over your head, from a squatting position!
Your 4 year old son sees a picture of you from your pre-child-bearing days and asks... "Who is that Mommy?"!
What a difference a year makes!
As I was rocking Emily to sleep tonight, watching her hold her own bottle, and listening to her tell me "Christmas Tree Off", I realized what a difference a year makes in the life of a little one!
Last year, Noah had just gotten his glasses and "forgot" to wear them most of the time...
This year, he happily wears them all the time!
Last year, Emily was lacking hair on the sides of her head, her "style" was not much of a "style", and the color was light brown...
This year, she has to have haircuts every 6-8 weeks to keep her "bob" trimmed, and the color has become a perfectly (naturally!) highlighted blonde!
Last year, we were able to go to church on Christmas Eve to celebrate Christ's birth...
This year, I spent Christmas Eve and Day in bed with the stomach flu. We wore our Christmas clothes and did our church celebration on Sunday though!
Last year, Emily was too little to be too afraid of Santa, while Noah was completley content to share his wishes with the jolly ol' guy...
This year, Emily was terrified of Santa, while Noah remained completely content to share his handwritten list (in his own writing!) of wishes with Santa!
Last year, Emily was a women of few words...
This year, she sang "Jingle Bells" and "Happy Birthday Jesus" and pointed out that our "Christmas Tree fall down" on our front porch. She knew "Santa" and "snowman" and "reindeer" and most importantly, "Angel", "Mary", and "Baby Jesus"!
Last year, Emily loved the wrapping paper far better than the contents of the boxes...
This year, the wrapping paper was instantly thrown on the floor in quick pursuit of finding the contents inside!
Last year, Emily received her first baby doll for Christmas... "Baby Caroline"...
This year, she received 4 more baby dolls and enough baby gear and "accessories" to fill the playroom! She knows every baby doll's name, sleeps with them at night, and mothers them each and every day.
Last year, Noah was aware that Christmas was really all about Jesus, but didn't fully comprehend it...
This year, he "got it"! On Christmas morning, he came straight into our room, crawled up on our bed, and said... "Mommy, it's Baby Jesus' birthday!" He also wrote "Jesus" as one of his first ornaments on the "Thankful Tree"!
Last year, Noah was a "true blue" Jayhawk sports fan...
This year, he momentarily became a WILDCAT fan! He returned to his senses once he figured out the rest of the gifts (namely Jersey's, basketball shorts, golf tees, billfolds, etc.) were undoubtedly going to be red and blue!
Last year, Emily couldn't walk and her Christmas tutu overwhelmed her...
This year, she runs and her Christmas tutu was "too too" perfect!
Last year, Noah could write his name and a few additional letters without help...
This year, he wrote his own special Christmas cards... with me just telling him the letters to write! (See card in Uncle Brycie's hand)
Last year, Emily didn't like to go to bed and woke at least twice in the middle of the night...
This year, she asks to go to bed AND (drum roll, please...) she sleeps through the night!
Last year, Emily only had 4 teeth...
This year, she has a full out "cheesy" grin!
Last year, Emily was a baby...
This year, she is a little girl!
And there are a few things that will never change...
Last year, both kids were precious in their Christmas clothes...
This year, they were equally precious!
Last year, both children were spoiled silly!
This year, they were spoiled even sillier!
With anticipation, I look to the New Year and the many changes that are certain to take place in the developing lives and personalities of my two greatest blessings!
Happy New Year!
