Sunday, August 29, 2010

One of Those

I went to drop off some forms for Emily's "Kids Day Inn" program this Fall.


As I stood in the hallway, looking as if I'd just rolled out of bed (because I had!), another mom came walking down the hallway to drop off her papers.


She was dressed.  Wearing cute clothes.  Her hair and make up were done.  She walked down the hall with a slight bounce in her step. 


I was instantly embarrassed of my own appearance and a little jealous of her "have it all togetherness".


I had to ask her to sign as my "witness" on one of the school papers.  She happily obliged.  She had a permanent smile on her face.  And she was "with it", meaning she corrected the mistake on my form and gently reminded me that today's date was not December 23, 2007!


She was "one of those"...


Those mothers who, at least by all appearances, have it all together.


I have another "one of those" in Emily's dance class.  She has a baby that is almost the same age as Molly.  And her daughter is in the 2 year old dance class with Emily.


Each week her daughter bounces in modeling a brand new tutu.  And her... well she is wearing an equally fashionable dress.  She can do that because she is skinny.  Super skinny.  And tan.  And of course, she always manages to do the hair and make up thing too!  She seems to have no cares in the world.  Her baby never cries.  He is content not being held.  She does not looked stressed out or even sleep deprived!


I find myself becoming more and more jealous and downright confused by all of "those" mothers.  You see, I am not "one of those".  I used to consider myself an organized person.  Maybe even obsessively organized.  But these days, organized is not a word that even remotely begins to describe me!  


As I observe "those" mothers and ponder how they are doing it, I can't help but wonder if they are wondering about me too.


They may look at me with similar bafflement... silently thinking to themselves that I am "one of those".  Only in their eyes, "one of those" is not something to be desired.  To them, "those" are the mothers who appear frazzled all the time, have endorsed a "shower optional" policy (in reference to themselves!), carry bags filled with endless "to do" items, forget what day of the week it is (not to mention the month and the year!), and sport tennis shoes and work-out pants (only they never work out) on a daily basis!


I am "one of those"!  


But I desperately want to be "one of those"!


And then there are "those" of the supermom variety....


Those that homeschool and make play dough from scratch and cook organic meals every night and play games in the afternoon with one child while teaching another child to sew! 


How, oh how do they do it?


Take the Fly Lady for instance.  I recently revisited her lovely site in an attempt to begin regaining some control over my life.  But I find myself just getting angry with her.


She even schedules a time to clean out her purse, for crying out loud!  


So as I've observed and pondered all of "those" women recently, I've come to the conclusion that they must have mastered something that I have never successfully been able to implement.... or even understand for that matter.


And that is a schedule.


I'm talking about the kind of schedule that includes house cleaning, meal planning, playtime, reading time, me time, clothes washing, dishwasher running, errand running, exercise planning, prayer time planning, and just about everything else under the sun!  


I've decided that must be the answer to why they always have a shower, clean clothes, happy children, and a home cooked meal.  It must be.  


So after I finish this blog post (at a much too late hour of the night) and get through the next two days of craziness, I've decided that I will begin to work on creating some semblance of a schedule for our family.  I've not had much success with "schedules" in the past and have honestly considered those who abide by them to be no-fun, rigid, and a bit on the boring side.  


But living like I've been living these past months has changed my mind completely!


So if you are "one of those", please help "one of those" out with your advice!  


How do you do it?


I'm ready to join your ranks.


I simply can't take being "one of those" any longer!

Friday, August 20, 2010

My Most Important Job as a Mother

To raise happy, healthy children...


To raise well mannered, respectful children...


To raise children who are well educated and self sufficient...


To support and encourage my children...


To instill strong values and good morals in my children...


To teach them to love Christ above all other things...


To foster a spirit of love amongst them...

To give my children the best life I possibly can...


As a mother, it is my job to raise my children well.  And all of these are worthy and noble aspirations... they are the things I aspire to teach and instill within each of my children.  


But none of these are the most important.  


As a mother, my most important job is to get my kids to Heaven!  Their forever home.  


I cannot do it for them.  


But I can do everything I know to teach them to know, love, and serve Christ in this life so that they can live with Him forever in eternity.


And that is my most important job.  


All of my other aspirations and desires for my children matter very little in comparison, for they are things that matter for only a short time... during their earthly lives.

It's easy for me to forget this.  And I often find myself getting caught up in the nuances of trying to raise well mannered, loving, thoughtful, respectful, caring children...  In trying to give them the best of everything and set them up for lifelong success.


But today, I was reminded that none of these things is most important.


*****

I know another mother who wanted her child to have a successful, enriched life.  She worked for most of her life trying to make sure that her daughter had the best earthly life that she possibly could have.


Her daughter, Jill, suffered a stroke at the age of 11.


I remember when it happened.  I was slightly older than Jill, but vividly remember hearing that she had fallen down on the playground and that she was never going to be the same again.


She defied the odds and lived.  


But her body was left with severe limitations.  With the help and encouragement of her loving mother, she re-learned to walk.  To talk.  To dress herself.  


Jill's mother did all that she could do to provide Jill with the best, most fulfilling life she could in spite of her limitations.


Jill graduated high school with honors, despite having to be physically carried up and down the stairs by her fellow classmates.   I remember the article that was written about her in the local paper when she graduated.  There were quotes upon quotes from her fellow classmates that revealed what an inspiration and role model she had been to them.  


But I also remember her mother confiding to my mother how badly Jill wished that she could dance, like the other kids, at the high school Prom.


When she decided to go to K-State for college, I remember her mother sharing her worries with my mother.  Jill wanted to go through Sorority Rush and her mother was terrified that she would be disappointed as none of the sorority houses had handicapped accessibility.  But as any loving mother would, she supported Jill's ambitions and did all that she could to provide Jill with a "normal" college experience, even if that meant hiring an aid to help her.  By her sophomore year, all of the sororities on the K-State campus had wheelchair access!


And then she decided to move even further away from home.  She wanted to pursue a Master's degree.  In Florida.  Once again, I remember her mother agonizing over every detail of how to encourage her daughter's dreams, while still wanting to keep her safe.  Jill graduated with a Master's degree from Florida State University.  She even went on to become a teaching assistant in the English department.


Jill defied the odds.  Over and over again.


It was her spirit that persevered through her physical limitations, but I believe it was the love, support and encouragement of her mother (and father too) that allowed her to spread her wings and fly. 


Her mother did all that she could to help her attain her earthly desires.  


But she also knew that these earthly desires were not the most important ones.  She knew that this life was temporary.  She knew what her most important job was.


And she did her job well.


When Jill's mother left this earth a short time ago, I'm sure she worried about leaving Jill.  She had always been there to help her.  To support her.  To make sure that she was able to do all that she wanted or got what she needed.  To give her the best life she possibly could.  And now Jill would be left without her mother to help her navigate through the difficult world of being disabled.


But she also knew that she would, one day, be reunited with her daughter and the rest of her family.  Because she knew she had done her most important job well.  She had done all kinds of things for Jill to help her live her life, but most importantly, she taught Jill to love God.


And Jill did.


Today I learned that Jill, at the age of 30, was tragically killed while crossing the crosswalk in her wheelchair on the Florida State campus.  She was thrown from her wheelchair and killed instantly.


Without question, her untimely death is a tragedy.  One in which it is hard to comprehend  God's purpose. 


She was an inspiration to many people.  She had great dignity.  And her life had great purpose.


Amidst the tears I shed today for Jill's father and her sister, I was struck by a comforting and wonderful image.


No matter what her mother tried to do to give Jill a fulfilling and happy life on earth, she could not do anything to help Jill realize her dream of dancing at the high school Prom.


But...
Because she knew what her most important job was, she is dancing with Jill at this very moment.  They are reunited and Jill's body is whole.  There are no more limitations, no more worries, no more struggles.  


Everything that she hoped for Jill to experience on this earth no longer matters.  For Jill has achieved the ultimate goal.  She is in her forever home.  And her mother is with her.


Jill's mother knew what her most important job as a mother was.


And she is experiencing incomprehensible joy with her daughter because of it!


Click here for the Wichita Eagle story.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Tears of a Different Variety

I have been anticipating this day for a long time.


I knew I wanted it to be special.  Perfect.  Different.


A day unlike all the other days in Noah's life.


Today was Noah's first day of Kindergarten.


As my husband likes to say, "I tend to go overboard" on special occasions.  And the 1st day of Kindergarten most definitely falls into the category of "special occasions"!


After all, it's a once in a lifetime event... your firstborn child goes to his first day of school only ONE time!


And so I had several special surprise things in mind for this momentous morning.


Special snapshots of Noah buttoning his uniform shirt for the first time...
A bedroom door decorated with streamers and balloons...
A yummy pancake breakfast...
Special "back to school" cookies for after school...
A cute gift box for the teacher...


And of course, I anticipated that I would shed a few tears as I watched my baby boy walk into his first day of real, big boy school.  The standard reminder that my baby no longer a baby and was entering a new stage of life.


None of this happened!


Instead, I spent the night before Noah's big day in the Emergency Room because my eye had swollen shut and refused to open.


After getting home from the ER at nearly 11 pm, I used the antibiotic cream inside my eyelids and consequently thought I was going to die from the burning PAIN!


Thankfully, my mom came to the rescue and ironed Noah's clothes for me.




But the cute gift box for the teacher and the streamer decorations...


Well, they are still sitting inside the Party City bag.




I got no sleep.  


Again.


When I woke this morning, neither of my eyes would open and they burned as if there were flames inside of them!  I somehow managed to take a shower, but that task coupled with tying a balloon to Noah's chair were the only thing I managed to accomplish this morning.

I didn't get to watch Noah button his shirt for the first time.


There was no special pancake breakfast.


With very little time to spare, I snapped a few pictures of Noah on the front porch and quickly threw together a vase with fresh flowers so that Noah didn't have to arrive at school empty handed, but there was no note attached to it. 
 



Plain and simple... this just was NOT what I had planned!


Nevertheless, Vance drove us to school because I could not open my eyes.


Noah was all smiles in the car.  We arrived with 4 minutes to spare.  




As I walked Noah inside, I attempted to keep my eyes open  long enough to take pictures of this important milestone.




We arrived. 


Miss Johnson met us at the door.


The classroom was quiet.  There were not little toddler-like people chitter chatting around the room as there was in the preschool classroom.


Everyone was dressed the same, sitting quietly at tables.


Noah politely handed his flowers to his teacher saying "these are for you."


He smiled for one last picture and bravely walked inside the room, hung up his backpack, put his name tag around his neck, and walked to the table with the other children.




He never looked back.


Not once.


It was a strange feeling.  I wasn't sure I wanted to leave, but there wasn't a window I could secretly watch through, so I had no choice but to walk back out those same doors.


I thought I should be crying.  


And for a brief moment, I felt a lump well up inside my throat.


But the tears that rolled down my face were not the tears I had anticipated... they were tears of pain from eyes that were in misery!




Instead of going to pick up the special Back to School cookies, I headed straight to the minor emergency room, and then to the eye doctor, and then to the pharmacy.  With dilated eyes, a tear stained face, and a headache to boot, we headed back to pick Noah up from his special 1st day.


He walked out in a single file line.  


His shirt was untucked and he looked a little bit confused.


He was greeted with a big hug from his Sissy and he cheerfully showed us the contents of his School Tour Scavenger Hunt.




Thanks to the numbing drops, I was able to open my eyes better and was happy to see that he had had FUN on his first day of real school!  


He anxiously showed us his "1st Phonics paper" and told us about the school tour.  




We headed home.




It was over.


He and I had officially conquered that "once in a lifetime" milestone.


It might not have happened like I wanted it to, but it happened nonetheless!  Different.?  It definitely was.  Perfect?  Not by my definition.  But I suppose it happened exactly as it was meant to happen.


And although my tears from this morning were tears of a different variety, the ones I am shedding as I type these words of reflection are the real ones... the ones I have anticipated for such a long time. 


My baby boy is a Kindergartner.


And I'm excited, baffled, and a bit sad all at the same time!



Thursday, August 5, 2010

Pray for Sara

I recently wrote about Sara and her need for your prayers.


My heart is heavy again today as I now know that she has been given a very scary diagnosis... Stage IV Lung Cancer.  Her family has set up a CarePage to keep people abreast of her progress and diagnosis.  


If you are willing to keep Sara in your prayers, you can continue to follow her journey and offer your words of encouragement to her by visiting:


http://www.carepages.com/carepages/teamsara



Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Scenes from our House

Well, it seems that summer is quickly approaching its end.  And life, well it doesn't seem to ever slow down to that slow, relaxing pace I always dream about!


My house seems to be in a continual state of "disaster" these days!  But that disaster is indicative of the things that have been going on in our little home lately.  


Things like...



It's HOT!


I mean sweltering, makes you feel like you can't breath, sticky, thick HOT!


My poor plants simply can't take the heat and what was once pretty and bright now looks like I feel on most of these HOT days!


Given the excessive HEAT, it's been hard to get outside to do much of anything.  That means there is more time indoors which usually translates to more, extreme fights between Noah & Emmie.  


Well, when such fights turn into episodes that are just downright unacceptable, disciplinary actions are taken.  I couldn't resist taking this picture of one such "episode".  Noah eventually fell asleep on a night when he was having "room time" WITH his supper!


Oh yes, we are in full potty training mode!  Emmie has been doing very well for quite some time, but I've never officially pushed the "training" and have allowed her to continue to wear diapers (mostly for my own convenience).  It's way past time for that to be over, so we are now officially doing it.  


I am not a fan of potty training.  At all.  And Emily, well she is only about 60/40 right now.  She is more interested in the idea of the panties and pink potty than she is with actually using them appropriately!


Oh well... at least she has a crown to wear when she is perched on her pink "throne"!


These started show up filled with all kinds of fun new pretties!  I've officially started my business back up again.  I'm excited and a bit nervous all at the same time!  But three kids are more expensive than two and so it will be nice to start making some money again... after all, Fall is coming soon and my FAVORITE kids clothes are the Fall ones!  You can check me out online here!
Speaking of Fall and clothes, this is what we've been shopping for lately....


UNIFORMS and SCHOOL SUPPLIES!


Noah officially starts KINDERGARTEN 2 weeks from today!  It does not seem possible.


He is super excited.  We've gotten his plaid uniform shirts, blue uniform pants, new shoes, new glasses, a backpack filled with all kinds of supplies, including 16 glue sticks.  16!  I can't imaging what on earth they are going to do with all that glue!


Miss Molly started rice cereal!  When the pediatrician thought it might be the "magic cure" to keep her sleeping longer at night, I made a bee line to the store to buy it!


It has not been that "magic cure", but Molly seems to enjoy it!  She's looks like a little bird eating it up!  And it makes for fun "messy mouth" baby pictures!




Speaking of Miss Molly and not sleeping at night...


She is getting TEETH!  Two of them to be exact.  She is a chewing, drooling machine.  This is the pediatrician's other theory as to why she suddenly wakes up every 1-2 hours at night again.  If so, please Lord, let those teeth pop through soon!  Everyone needs sleep around here!


I got one of these recently!  I was scared of it, but I eventually gave in to those pesky intriguing commercials, and got one this month when my phone was due for an upgrade!  It's being charged on a continual basis these days, in large part because of him...




This is more proof that I'm NOT getting any handheld video games for my kids for as long as I possibly can!  Noah is OBSESSED with the phone and its games!  He's even preferred the phone over his PaPa recently!


Oops!  Surely I'm not admitting my failure to completely sever my relationship with the Oreos!  They are a snack pack size though... don't you get out of control cravings that make you run to KwikShop at 11 pm to get Oreos too?!


Speaking of bad food, I recently read more about how terrible aspartame is.  I already knew this, but wanted to pretend is wasn't true because I LOVE Diet Coke so much!


But I can't ignore it and so I'm trying to find other delicious drinks without aspartame AND too much sugar.  It's hard.  The choices are basically water or water.  Neither of which I enjoy much of at all!  I'm settling for a weening process of the Diet Coke and introducing a tiny bit of Snapple to satisfy that annoying sweet tooth of mine!


So, I'm anxious for the cooler temperatures to come!  Maybe then my plants will return from the dead and I won't have to vacuum daily anymore!  


Truly, I've been vacuuming every day because it's SO HOT my dog REFUSES to go outside and is therefore completing her shedding process INSIDE my house!


Happy End of Summer Days!


Monday, August 2, 2010

The Sun Will Come Out

Tomorrow...

Bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow...

They'll be sun!

Those are the lyrics that have been sung, and sung, and sung, and sung in my house as of late!


I took Emily to see the musical production of Annie last week.  I realize she is only 2, but I was so excited to share with her one of my most favorite shows from my childhood.  Despite being the tiniest little girl there, she had an absolutely wonderful time and has been singing her little lungs out ever since!




So after we saw the musical, I decided to rent the movie... the one I grew up loving so much.


It's funny.  I have probably not seen that movie in close to 28 years, but once I put it in the DVD player, I instantly remembered almost every single word to every single song!  And so I, too, have been singing Annie lyrics for days on end!


I loved that movie growing up!


Here's the proof...


I dressed up as Annie for Halloween!


I carried an Annie book bag!
(I'm so old that we carried book bags - no one carried backpacks until I got to high school!)

I had an Annie Birthday Party!
My mom even made Annie Salads out of food!

Emily and Noah have been watching the Annie movie NONSTOP!  We've rented it, returned it and re-rented it twice! 






And Miss Emily... she cracks me up!  She loves to try to do the dance moves as she belts out the lyrics in her indistinguishable two year old language!


She routinely says to me.... "I wanna ting tong bout Annie!"


So last week as I was trying to get her hair curled for church, she decided to throw one of her toddler tantrums.  And so I told her that Annie says...


"You're never fully dressed without a smile"!  And I continued to sing that song long enough to calm her down and get her hair sufficiently coiffed for church!


So this morning, I called her into my bathroom for the hair curling routine before church.  She sat up on the counter, put on a HUGE grin and said...


"Look, Mommy!  I miling.  Annie not need tay dat tong anymore"!
{translation:  I'm smiling.  Annie doesn't need to sing that song anymore!}


And she sat there smiling as big as she could the entire time I curled her hair!  


Who knew Annie would not only entertain us for hours on end, but teach us life lessons too! She's optimistic (the sun will come out tomorrow) and knows the importance of making a good first impression (you're never fully dressed without a smile)!