A Season of Slowing Down

Would you believe that my porch still has a pumpkin on it?  Oh, and a basket filled with gourds.  And a mum.  And an empty holiday door bucket.


My house has no Christmas lights.
I do not have a lit tree in my living room.
My house is not adorned with greenery and Christmas decor.
I don't have much, if any, of my Christmas shopping done.
My Christmas cards are not prepared.
My mantel looks like this...

This lonely Christmas garland and the above mentioned empty holiday door bucket are the few signs within my house that the Christmas season is approaching.  


However, as I've driven around town, particularly today, it appears that I'm late to the party!  Everywhere I look, I see lit Christmas trees behind windows, twinkling lights hung on rooftops, and porches decked with all the proper holiday trimmings.  There is even Christmas music playing on my favorite Christian radio station.  I hear people talking about how they've completed their Christmas shopping and have addressed their Christmas cards.


By most accounts, I suppose that I am, in fact, late to the party.  


For those who know me well, the scenes I've described to you may seem odd.  For me, at least.  After all, I am the person who had no less than 15 pumpkins, a hay bale, tons of mums, and a bucket of gourds on my porch early in September!  I'm usually right there with everyone else... scurrying about making sure my home is decked out in complete holiday attire.  And in doing all of that, I usually find myself exhausted, tired, and not in the right frame of mind for the Christmas season that is approaching.


So this year, I've decided to do it differently.  After all, it's not Christmas yet!


My life has been much too chaotic and busy as of late.  I seem to be in a constant battle to be less busy, to slow down, to stop long enough to celebrate the little things in life.  It's a battle that I often do not win.  


But this year, I plan to win.  


I'm going to purposely slow down.  I'm going to listen to what my faith teaches about this season... not the Christmas season, but the season of Advent.  After all, the lights and trees and decorations are nice, but they are not what this season is really about.  They are just things.  And something I've been contemplating a lot recently is that I have too many things.  


Instead of racing to the finish line of the holiday decor and shopping marathon, I'm going to listen to the wisdom of the church and I'm going to use this season of Advent to slow down.  To focus on preparing my heart for the actual season of Christmas which starts on December 25th... the day when we celebrate the birth of a savior who gives me a reason to have hope and joy.  


I'm going to be deliberate about how I celebrate this special time of year.  Don't get me wrong, my home will eventually be appropriately decorated and my door bucket will eventually hold some lovely berry branches and Christmas greens.  My family will have wrapped Christmas gifts and my friends will receive Christmas cards.  I'm just going to do it all slower this year, pausing to enjoy it all more.  As for the lights on the rooftop, that one is up for grabs this year!   They may be the first thing on my list of "things" that needs to go!


But while I plan to slowly and enjoyably decorate my home for the Christmas season, this simple table will be the focus of my next 25 days.

It is my Advent table... it bears outward signs and activities designed to prepare my heart and the hearts of my children for the true reason for the season (or at least it will once I finish them tonight!).  Advent is a time to slow down.  To prepare our hearts for Jesus' coming... in his infancy on Dec. 25th, but also for his second coming at the end of time.  It is a time to wait, patiently, for the most joyful event in human history.  It is a time to focus on how my heart can be transformed towards doing the things that Jesus told us to do... feed the hungry, clothe the naked, visit the sick, take care of those in need.  


And so my house might still have a pumpkin on the porch, but I'm okay with that.  I'm slowing down.  I'm waiting.  I'm celebrating the season of Advent.

On the Subject of Manners

"Good manners open doors that the best education cannot."
~ Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas


I wasn't raised in the South, but as a child, I never addressed an adult by their first name.  I had to ask to be excused from the dinner table and I knew not to talk with food in my mouth.  I wrote thank you notes, said please & thank you, and cleaned up after myself when I stayed the night with a friend.


My mother taught me to use good manners.  Demanded them actually.  And I am grateful that she did!


Several events of late have left me pondering whether I am the only parent out there who still feels that teaching... dare I say demanding, good manners from my children is the "right thing to do".  Call me old fashioned, but I expect my children to address adults with a proper honorific (Mr. or Miss), ask to be excused from the dinner table, SIT at the dinner table while eating, ask for things with a please and thank you, and clean up after themselves to the extent that they are able.  Do they do it all the time without my constant reminding?  Of course not, but that doesn't stop me from trying to raise civilized children in a world where incivility seems to be par for the course.


I don't respond when a child screams "I want...." at me.  As I tell my children, I am happy to get things for children who ask politely.  I inwardly cringe when I see others respond to such rude demands from their children.  Maybe it's habit, fatigue, or a "pick your battles" mentality that has perpetrated a "manners don't matter" attitude among so many parents in our society.  Whatever the reason, I find that a lack of common courtesy is becoming much too much the norm.


And it's not just the kids who don't know how to mind their P's & Q's.  It's the adults too.  


I feel like writing a PSA (Public Service Announcement) informing people that the 4 letters R.S.V.P. mean "Please Respond".  They do not mean "respond only if you are coming" or "don't respond if you don't like the kind of invitation it is" or "just ignore the fact that someone took the time to mail you an invitation of some sort"!  They mean, "Please Respond"!  The person who invited you to an event is likely trying to plan how much food and beverage to serve, hence the reason for the R.S.V.P.!


Or another PSA could be on the topic of texting while eating with others.  I continue to be horrified by the number of people who find it perfectly acceptable to have a text "conversation" while they are at the dinner table... with people who are actually present!  When did an electronic device become more important than the people who are actually present at the table?  


A friend of mine told me that her soon to be daughter-in-law actually told her that she didn't care anything about etiquette because etiquette is just for people who want to show off.  As ridiculous as that statement is, I fear that it has become a sentiment that is shared by far too many adults these days.  And if that's the kind of attitude that the young adults of our generation have, raising kids with good manners is going to continue to be an uphill battle!


Plain and simple, etiquette, or good manners, is showing common courtesy and a genuine respect towards other people.  That's it.  Common Courtesy.  Basic Respect.  And in my humble opinion, there is nothing old fashioned about that.


So I will continue to fight the good fight in the war against good manners.  While my kids will be kids and will undoubtedly forget to use their good manners on many occasions, I can't help but hope that, like me, one day they will be grateful that I taught them these basic life skills.  


In the meantime, in this house, we will continue to R.S.V.P. to invitations we receive, we will ask to be excused from the table, we will ask for things politely, we will say please and thank you, we will hand write thank you notes, we will say excuse me when we bump into someone, we will address adults with honorifics, and we will learn to be courteous amongst the many who aren't.


"The hardest job kids face today is learning good manners when they don't see any."
~ Fred Astaire

THANKFUL

Life has been much too busy recently.  In the midst of the chaos, I often feel overwhelmed and burdened.


I am grateful for the holiday.  For the opportunity to slow down and focus on the many abundant blessings in my life.  


For I have much to be THANKFUL for!

Happy Thanksgiving!

No Words Right Now

http://www.wavybel.blogspot.com

I Still Have My Bracelet

My family has prayed for "Wavy" and her family for well over a year now.  


Like many others, we wore blue bracelets with the words "For the Love of Wavy" to remind ourselves to pray for her situation during the time that her case was in the Appeals process.

{November 2009}

After the Appellate Court ruled in favor of M&M, we got a bit lackadaisical and  took our prayer bracelets off.  


Truthfully, I haven't seen those bracelets in our household for quite some time.  I'm not sure why.  I think I was overconfident that our prayers had, indeed, been answered and our bracelets were pushed to corners of our household that are only seen on rare occasions.


Last week, when I learned the news that the Supreme Court of Kansas had ruled against M&M and that Wavy would soon be removed from their home, I was unable to hide my raw emotion in front of my children.  I was forced to try to explain to Noah the cause for my tears.  I tried to be vague so as not to scare him, but he was familiar enough with Wavy that I felt I had to tell him the truth about the situation.


The way he responded to my explanation broke my heart at the time.  


He simply looked at me through puppy dog eyes and said... 


"But Mommy, we prayed for her.  We even wore those bracelets."


He was right.  


And I was forced to try to explain an even more difficult concept to him... that sometimes God doesn't answer our prayers in the way that we want Him to.  


After mangling an explanation about prayer and God's goodness in spite of bad things, Noah's eyes lit up as if he had just come up with the most brilliant of ideas, and he excitedly said the following words to me...


"Mom!  I still have my bracelet.  I can still pray for her!"


With that, I hugged him tighter than normal and told him how much I loved him.  And that was the end of it.


Until last night.


As I was doing my nightly clean-up-the-mess-from-the-day routine, I picked up Noah's little bucket that houses his "Silly Bandz".  As I picked it up to take it to his room, I was immediately struck by something....

Somehow, somewhere, his blue bracelet had resurfaced and was sitting at the top of his beloved collection of Silly Bandz!  I honestly don't know where he found it or when he found it, but there it was, perched on the top as if it were the most important "band" amidst the hundreds of other bands within that small bucket.


What struck me was that something I consider to be so mind boggling and hard to comprehend, let alone explain, is very clear to a small child.  


That even when it seems God has not answered our prayers, we can, and SHOULD, still pray! 


We still have our bracelets!


Noah didn't have to think through the million different nuances I've tried to rationalize in my mind over the past week.  He just did what he knew to do.  He found his bracelet.  He prayed.  With the same level of trust that he prayed the last times he wore the bracelet.  He does not question whether or not God can answer his prayer.  He just trusts.


I have prayed for many miracles in my lifetime.  I've witnessed many small miracles and some big ones too.  And there have been miracles that I prayed for that didn't happen... at least not in the way I wanted them to happen.


I do believe in miracles.  


I do believe that God can make possible the impossible.


Yet, I know that He doesn't always perform the miracles I ask for.


Trying to balance the hope that He will answer my continued pleas for His intercession in this case with the reality of knowing that His ways are not always my ways is difficult.  I often feel like I'm risking my own faith by asking Him to do something so big - to perform a miracle - to make possible the impossible.  I don't want to be in a position of wanting to question His plan if it happens to be different than what I've prayed.  I feel vulnerable in asking.


But I will do it anyway.


I still have my bracelet!


I spoke with Molly this evening. 


She, too, is wrestling with the delicate balance between being realistic about their current situation, yet knowing that God is still able to intervene in this case.  Knowing he can perform a miracle.  Knowing he can make possible the impossible.


She and Matt are exhausting every single option they possibly have to be able to keep Wave in their home.


But the reality of the matter is that it will, indeed, take a miracle to make that happen.


What will the miracle look like?


An open mind.  Eyes that see things in a new light.  A transformed heart.


The miracle must be in the mind, the eyes, and the heart of the birthfather and of his counsel.


I do not have liberty to share any more than this.  But if you happen to be reading this blog post, I beg you to stop right this very minute, and pray that minds be opened, eyes see things anew, and hearts be transformed.  Right now, I ask you to pray for a miracle.  Right now, I ask you to pray that God make possible the impossible.  


Be vulnerable.  Risk it.  Ask.


I still have my bracelet!  


Do you?

Lastly, Molly has given me permission to share their blog with you.  It is here at www.wavybel.blogspot.com

The Cutest

Have I mentioned that I have an affinity for matching kids' clothes?

Well, I do.


And although I'm admittedly biased, I have to say that my three matching pumpkins were the cutest ones in this patch!

A Little Bit of Magic!

If you know me at all, you know that I am a sucker for matching kids clothes.  Meaning I find some kind of strange enjoyment in finding coordinating clothing for all of my children.

And Halloween costumes are no exception!

I like to find somewhat original costume ideas that are, well... coordinated!  I know I won't be able to pull off the matching themed costumes forever, so for the past 3 years I've taken full advantage of my power of persuasion in the costume suggesting department!  (I posted all my Halloween costumes here last year).

So, without further ado, may I introduce to you....

The Amazing Noah

And his Bunnies!

So this was our little bit of Magic for Halloween 2010...

Running with excitment from house to house...

Enjoying neighborhood friends...

Being mesmerized by spooky decorations...

And the not so spooky ones...

Enjoying the sweetness of the candy haul...

And the pumpkins too!

Truly, the devastating news that my dear friends were enduring this holiday night made me pause to savor the sweetness of my children and the fun they were having more than ever. 

The excited squealing, bunny rabbit hopping, magic wand waving, trick or treating, and candy eating truly was a little bit of magic!