Going There

This is "the most wonderful time of the year".  


Right?


Christmas time... it's supposed to be the happiest time of the year.  There's music and food and decorations and gifts.  Lights and movies and snack mix.  And family.


Really, when you get down to it, the lights and food and decorations are really just accessories, at best, to the family celebrations that are brought about by this special holiday.  


At it's core, Christmas is about family.


Jesus was born into a family on Christmas day.  And by sending Jesus, God's own son, He paved a way for us to be a part of His eternal family one day.  And we celebrate that miracle, that hope, amongst our own families at Christmas time.  


Some families are large, some are small, some are separated by many miles.  Some families are close and enjoy each other's company immensely, some do not.  Regardless of size or distance or closeness, I feel confident that being with family during the holidays is what most people cherish.  It's what makes the holidays the holidays.  


During this "most wonderful time of the year", I've found myself feeling sad.   


Families have been and are being separated in my midst.  My heart is broken for the heartaches that so many families must endure during this supposed-to-be-happy time of the year.  


Vance's co-worker's wife, after battling leukemia for over 15 years, was killed suddenly in a car crash.  Her husband and two children must face this Christmas with a family that does not seem whole.  Their wife and mother is missing.


Another co-worker's sister, in the prime of her life, is battling Stage IV lung cancer.  Their family must face this Christmas with the uncertainty of not knowing what their family will look like at this time next year.  


A dear friend just told us of her cancer recurrence.  She must take her family to an unknown place this holiday season to get tests and second opinions and statistics given to her.  Her 16 year old daughter must face this Christmas with the fear that Christmas time for her family may never be the same. 


And then there is the one that hurts me most.  If you read my blog, you know them well.  The family that will soon be torn apart at the mercy of a legal system that seems anything but just.  This family had to face Christmas knowing, with certainty, it would be their last time to watch their youngest daughter experience the magic of Christmas.  


And these are just a few of the families whose landscapes are being torn apart during this "most wonderful time of the year".  I feel almost sick to my stomach as I type these words.  


Vance often tells me not to "go there".  Not to allow myself to think about these things.  My mom says the same thing.  She says that I put myself in the shoes of the person who is hurting and it becomes too much for my heart to bear.  


Quite frankly, I don't know how not to "go there".  I don't know how I can know about these hurts and not feel sad.  I don't know how not to want to ease the burden in some way.  I think I have been given a heart that feels the pains of others.  And I'd like to think that being empathetic is a gift that I can use to help others in need.  I just don't always know how to do that.


Father Dan once told me that when we "pray for someone", we are not just praying alongside them.  We are actually praying in their stead.  When I offer to pray for someone, I am offering to stand in their place... to pray the words they need prayed at a time when they are too burdened and sad to pray the words themselves.


Today, I'm "going there".  I'm sad beyond sad as I think about the families who may find themselves smaller in number at this time next year... who are facing this special time amidst heartache and fear.  


And I'm particularly broken hearted thinking about the family who will go to court, yet again, tomorrow to learn the details of how and when their 2 1/2 year old daughter will be taken from them; forever changing the landscape of their special family.  


And so I will do the only thing I know to do.  


Pray in their stead.   


I will pray the things they are too burdened to pray themselves.
{If you have followed the journey of Matt, Molly & Wavy, please read here to learn of their latest needs.}


And as I pray for these hurting families, I will force myself to remember that it is this very "most wonderful time of the year" that will give each of these families a reason to have hope... to celebrate even in the midst of tears...


It is because of the miracle of Christmas that these separated  families will one day be reunited.  They will be made whole once again.  It is promised.  It is a certainty.  

Scenes from the Season

{advent wreath lighting}

{kindergarten gingerbread house extravaganza}

{an advent activity table}

{the first ornaments}

{the finished product}

{at night}

{celebrating the feast of saint nicholas - the real santa claus}

{handmade ornaments made by the children}

{a visit with santa after "toyland" at children's theatre}

{emily discovers my favorite childhood ornament}
{also the one my mother least liked!}


{father dan & father johnny bless our nativity "baby jesus'"}

{"swaddling clothes" to be given to local charities}

{children in matching christmas tree shirts}

 {ornament painting for grandparent gifts}

 {a newfound ability to draw snowflakes}

{special gifts completed & a new tradition started}

{writing to santa}

{translation:  wii, helmets, wii games, golf balls}

{good thing santa doesn't audit the answers}

{signed "E"}

{to the mailbox}

{signed, sealed, and stamped}

{cookie decorating with friends}

{sprinkle tasting}

{yummy fun}

{the stockings were hung...
except for the one i forgot to purchase for molly!}

{twas the night before christmas}

{the first gifts of the celebration - the ones to each other}

{ku's very own}

{her most loved gift of the night}

{christmas eve dinner table... no jesus yet}

{not sure if she or i loved the dress up gift the most}

{excited about the little things too}

{baby girl didn't feel well}

{spoiled silly by santa}

{happy birthday jesus!  christmas day mass}

{our last christmas in our small "warehouse" church}

{the best family photo we could get}

{blessed}

{first christmas}

{for unto you is born a savior which is christ the lord}

Idealistic v Realistic

So here I sit.


The day before Christmas Eve.  Emily's Birthday.  The end of the Advent Season.


It seems like yesterday that I was planning how I was going to slow down and breathe in this Advent season.  Savoring it and not allowing it to fly by in a rush of business.  Focusing on "making room" for Jesus in my heart and in my children's hearts.  That was my plan.  And it was a good one.


I do that a lot... make great plans in my mind.  But what I'm finally starting to accept is that my plans are almost always too idealistic.  They are almost never realistic.  At least for me.  At this point in my life.


And "idealistic" pretty much sums up how my plan for slowing down and soaking up the season  of Advent and preparing for Christmas went.


But I'm surprisingly okay with that.  Maybe my plans were too idealistic, but in my effort to achieve that idealism, the reality is that we are better for having tried than if we did nothing at all...


Ideally, I wanted to read my daily devotions each day during Advent.


Realistically, I make it about half way through!

Ideally, my house would have been decorated in the usual manner, meaning that the bathrooms, the kitchen and pretty much every nook and cranny would be sporting some sort of Christmas attire.


Realistically, I couldn't do it this year.  I managed the trees, the mantel, the front porch, and a few sprigs of greenery here and there!

Ideally, we would have had delicious family meals every night in which we lit our Advent wreath and hung a tag on our Thankful Tree symbolizing something for which we were thankful for that day.


Realistically, this did happen.  Just not every night.  The Thankful Tree is not as full as I would have liked in my ideal view, but it is bears many tags representing the family discussions we did have.  

And I've never had an Advent candle look like this at the end of Advent.  It's pitiful appearance alone is enough to call this Advent lighting season a success!  That and the fact that Emily Kate can often be heard walking around singing "Light one candle for hope.... He comes...."... the song we sang as we lit the candles on our wreath these past 4 weeks.

Ideally, I wanted to teach the children a new bible verse each week during Advent.


Realistically, we did one verse.  

Ideally, we would have managed to keep the schedule of charitable works I had planned for each day of Advent.


Realistically, we have some "catching up to do"!   But we have accomplished some meaningful activities...

Ideally, the children's mangers would be overflowing with "hay" due to the many acts of kindness and charity they performed this Advent.


Realistically, they are not overflowing, but are sufficiently soft to lay their Baby Jesus in on Christmas Day.

Ideally, my gifts would be wrapped and tied with pretty bows.


Realistically, they are wrapped.  No bows!

There are many, many more things I could list about how my idealistic plan did not match my reality.  But my reality was better than had I not made an effort at all.  And that's why I'm okay with it.  


We tried.
We focused on the reason for the season.
We grew.


Maybe this season of preparing for Christ's birth didn't match my ideal plan exactly, but the following words Noah spoke to me last night reminded me that sometimes things don't have to be perfect to be enough...


"Mom, I only need three gifts this year.  I already have a lot of things.  So I only want three gifts because that's what Baby Jesus got."  ~ Noah