Annual Love Day Celebrations {2013}

Historically, Valentine's Day has not been a favorite holiday of mine.  When I was living in the sorority house in college, Valentine's Day reminded me of nothing more than the fact that I was boyfriend-less!  I cringed every time I walked past the front desk overflowing with flowers from the boyfriends of my friends!  And I wished so badly that someone would want to send me flowers on Valentine's Day.

My senior year, Vance and I met.  

Finally... I had a boyfriend for Valentine's Day!  That year, I searched the sea of flowers on the sorority front desk anxiously looking for the one marked with my name.  But they weren't there.  I put aside my disappointments and focused my excitement on going out to dinner that Valentine's evening.  

When I called to confirm the dinner details with my new (and obviously clueless) boyfriend, what followed was a "one liner" that has been the butt of many jokes ever since!  As I excitedly asked him what time he wanted to leave for dinner, he responded with complete confusion saying something that led me to believe he had Alzheimer's because he had absolutely no recollection of asking me out on a "dinner date" for Valentine's Day.  When I reminded him of this obvious fact, he responded by telling me that there was a KU game that evening.  Then it was my turn to be confused because obviously, who cares if there is a KU game?!  It's our first Valentine's Day as a couple which obviously takes priority, right?!  And then came the "matter-of-fact" one liner that has haunted him ever since...

"For the record, if I ever ask you to do something on a night that KU is playing, just disregard it."

So that year, 1996, on our first Valentines Day as a couple, Vance went to the KU game.  I waited at home.  And we went out to dinner late that evening.  I wasn't happy about it.  And he knew it!  

And that began the many years of him trying to learn how not to screw up future Valentine's Days.  There were lots of bumps in the road, but 17 years later, he is better at remembering me on Valentine's Day than I am him. 

And I always get flowers :)

There are a few things to be taken from that first Valentine's Day...
1.  Vance is a die hard KU fan and always will be. 
2.  "Love" isn't always roses :)

I feel kind of silly about my immature need for recognition back in 1996.  Obviously, Vance and I have grown up and now know that we don't need a holiday to tell each other how we love them.  And so I truly care very little about myself on Valentine's Day anymore.  

But I do like the idea of using Valentine's Day as a day to show my entire family my love for them in a way that is different from every other day of the year.  And so several years ago, I began a tradition of making a "Love Dinner" for the family.  And this year marked it's third installment.

Other than the "Love Dinner", we also carried on with the normal (and kid-required) Valentine celebrations...

We made Valentines for school friends and a few other friends.  

Noah chose chocolate candy river rocks to take to his school classmates.  They were a hit as no one believed him that they could be eaten!

And he insisted on personalizing them... in cursive!  He is mother's son... the only child in his class to personalize his Valentines :)

Emily chose cute writing pads and pencils to take to her school classmates.  

She cut out the hearts all by herself!  And she, too, wanted to personalize hers.  Without a class list, I was pretty impressed that she independently remembered the names of all of her classmates! 

And 3 batches of brownies went to school teachers, principals and secretaries (as well as my stomach!).

Noah had a great time at his school party playing "Minute to Win It" Valentine games.

And Emily dressed in pink and red with a heart on her shirt (again!) for her school party.

And then it was time for the Annual "Fancy" Love Dinner.  I say "fancy" because that is what the kids think it is.  I almost didn't do it this year.  Emily had her last Basketball game of the season (and perhaps ever).  And there was no way I could make dinner and attend her game that evening.  So I asked her what she wanted me to do.  Without hesitation, she responded that I could get the dinner ready while she played her game and it could be a surprise when they got home!  I found this to be endearing because it showed me how much she enjoys the "Labor of Love"!

And so I commenced with the tradition.

The table was set with special linens and dishes.

Place cards were used.

Flowers adorned the heart shaped table runner.

Lights were dimmed and candles were lit.

Dinner was made.

{ON THE MENU}

Crispy Onion Oven Baked Chicken

Mashed Potatoes

Noodles

Fresh Fruit Salad

Desserts were purchased :) 

Sparkling cider was poured.

A love toast was made.

And in tradition, we went around the table and shared something that we loved about each member of our family...

{NOAH LOVES}
...that Daddy takes him to KU games and watches games on TV with him
...that Emily helps him when he needs help
...that Molly thinks he is cool and wants to play with him
...that Abby smiles all the time and waves at people
...that I am the "best room mom" and drive to all of his field trips

{EMILY LOVES}
...that Daddy is nice
...that Noah is sweet and that he likes her
...that Molly is her friend
...that Abby is happy
...that I am the "best mommy in the whole wide world"

{MOLLY LOVES}
...that Noah plays
...that Daddy plays running
...that Emily plays airplane
...that Abby wants to go on the airplane
...that I play airplane with her and Emily

{DADDY LOVES}
...that Noah loves to play golf
...that Emily is a girly girl and loves to be fancy
...that Molly is his buddy calls out for him in the middle of the night (love/hate)
...that Abby smiles when he looks at her
...that I try to make special things for the family all the time

{MOMMY LOVES}
...that Noah is kind to all his friends and polite to adults
...that Emily is such a nice sharer and makes up cute make believe ideas for her and Molly
...that Molly likes to go places with me
...that Abby is a happy baby again
...that Daddy works so hard so that I can stay home with the little loves!


And last, but certainly not least, the kids enjoyed their Valentine surprises from us!

{KU Checkers, Pjs, and Mail Kit}

{Heart Pj's, Olivia Book & Mail Kit}

{Heart Pj's, Mail Kit & Fancy Nancy Book}

{Love Bug Pj's & 2 Books}

{I gave the kids stuff to play "mail" and gave them each one of those little mailboxes.  They thought it was great, but they were most fascinated by the old-school pen with the 4 colors.  Emily even took hers to Show & Tell the next day!}

{A piece of "mail" left in Emily's mailbox}

So Valentine's Day is no longer about flowers and dinner for me...
but it has become about spoiling my kids with flowers and a special dinner.

They love it.

Which makes me love Valentine's Day now too!

Just for fun...

2011 Love Dinner

2012 Love Dinner

Small Successes {comeback}

Oh boy... I've been in a rut as of late.  

I feel like I can't catch up with my life and my mantra has become "I can't get anything done"!

I think it all started on December 1st when 2 of the girls came down with our first bout of Influenza.  Yes, I said "first bout" because we were lucky enough to get two different strains of Influenza this year... A & B!  Throw in a few other respiratory viruses, a stomach bug, a nursing strike that never ended, and lots of teething torture and you get a crazy few months of nonstop sickness-induced chaos!  

I never do sick well... it causes me all kinds of anxiety and sleeplessness.  And we don't sleep in this house to start with!  So the sleeplessness and sicknesses has got me feeling like I can't catch up and need to regain control of my chaotic household.

That being said, I also tend to focus on the things that are not getting done and fail to recognize that everyday, at a minimum, my children are fed, clothed, and basically cared for.  It's that whole pessimism thing that I can't seem to shake!  

As I was thinking about my day today, feeling completely fatigued and exhausted again, I realized that I have actually accomplished a few things in the past few days... even though I complain every single day that "I never get anything done"!  The complaining thing is another thing I am trying to work on {stay tuned}!  

So I've decided it is time for a comeback of the Small Successes posts; a means to force myself to realize that I am making progress.  Maybe focusing on small successes will help me to see that I am actually achieving something on these long, winter days of stay-at-home-motherhood... and maybe they will help me to stop complaining that "I can't catch up!"  Because I'm pretty sick of myself right about now :)

So without further ado, my Small Successes from the past week:

{Purged and Wiped Down Pantry}
I majorly purged and reorganized my pantry last January right before Abby's birth.  I could not believe how much clutter accumulated in there again in a matter of a year.  So today, I re-purged and actually cleaned all the shelves and the floor.  Major improvement.  Next on the list... the interior of my oven.  I won't embarrass myself by saying how long that has gone without being cleaned, but I will say that I'm not really sure how to even clean an oven ;)

{Made 2 Snowmen with my Kids}
We finally got a real snowfall in Kansas!  I really just wanted to let the kids go out in it by themselves so I could "get something done" during Abby's brief nap.  But I surrendered and attempted my first ever snowman build.  I've been present during snowman builds as a child, but this was the first time I was the lead builder... with no man in sight!  I was pretty proud and the kids were super happy which made my frostbit fingers and toes worth it.  We even had a bonafide snowball fight!

{Took Valentine Decor down and Put it in Storage}
After Christmas, I couldn't bear to take my candy mantel completely down.  It was just too much work.  So I changed the green candy to pink and added some other Valentine candies to keep it working through Valentines Day.  After 2 1/2 months though... I was ready for it to be gone and for the mantel to be thoroughly cleaned!  And so it finally got done this week.  I put up a few Spring-ish things until I can get motivated to decorate for Easter.  But the fact that the candy is packed up and the mantel has been given a good dusting makes me breath better!  Yes, I'm weird like that.  

{Redid Bookcase}
After taking down the Christmas decor, I re-did this little black bookcase in my kitchen.  New and different always equals better in my opinion!

{Made & Hung These}
Ahhh!  Girls room decor... another area in which I could scream "I never get anything done"!  After a year, the rooms are still not complete.  BUT in the spirit of recognizing small successes, I did put chicken wire on the back of these frames and hung them on the wall.  They are still in need of some more embellishment and I need something else to hang on top of the top one and... Small Success... they are hung!

{Did This}
I didn't take a "before" shot of this drawer, but let's just say that the reason I decided to tackle it was because every time I tried to open it, it got stuck.  It's houses a whole bunch of semi-necessary and semi-often used "stuff".  A "junk drawer", I suppose.  With the help of some Target Dollar Spot containers, it is now it's a "junk drawer" that opens easily with substantially less junk... Small Success! 

{A Few More Pictureless Successes}
1.  Washed the bathroom rugs.
2.  Washed out the inside of the "gadget drawer" in the kitchen.
3.  Dumped out all of my make up brushes and cleaned the container that holds them.
4.  Was on time to dance class.
5.  Went to dinner with a friend.
6.  Took a shower everyday (except today).
7.  Made a menu plan and shopped for it (didn't stick to it, but again... focus on the small...)
8.  Ironed uniform shirts I was behind on
9.  Went to bible study for the first time since before Christmas.  
10. Was the first one to arrive at #9 bible study (that is major major!)

Wow!  I think I like this form of therapy :)  

Overheard

{A Conversation with Emily}
Em:  Mom, what are your praises?
Me:  Gosh, Em.  I have so many praises today.  What are your praises?
Em:  That God choose-ed you to be our mommy.

{Morning Greeting with Molly}
Me:  Good Morning Sunshine!
Molly:  I not Sunshine.  I Mol-ly!

{A Conversation with Emily}
As we are making "Magic Reindeer Food" gifts to give to friends...
Em:  What are the sparkles for?
Me:  That's what the reindeer see as they fly in the sky.  It sparkles on the lawn and that's how they know to land at our house.
Long pause
Em:  Does this make them waterproof too?
Before I have a chance to answer...
Em:  Oh no!  Reindeer can't swim, right?

{Funny Commentary by Noah}
As we are having a late night chat in his bed, Noah randomly says to me...
"Did you know that some people who work at McDonald's have to be nocturnal?"

{Observation by Emily}
Upon going in to play with Abby as she is waking up, Emily screams to me...
"Mom!  Abby is poopy and it smells like animal poop!"

Changing Sibling Combinations

After I wrote this post and dried my tears, I began thinking about sibling relationships and combinations.

I want nothing more than my children to grow up as friends.  

I imagine a day when they will all be grown ups, married, with kids of their own.  I imagine holidays filled with cousins running around together and games being played by the adults while grandma (me) watches all of it in utter delight.  

I hope and pray for that.  Idealistic as it might be, I do hope and pray for it.

For bonding and lasting relationships and friendships to exist among all of them.

And I know that those relationships will all differ and grow in different ways and at different times as they grow and mature.

Right now, Emily & Molly are BFFs.  

Their relationship is easy and loving without much fighting.

Emily and Noah's relationship is more territorial and adversarial.  Things haven't changed much since I wrote this many years ago!

And then there is the relationship between the littles... Molly and Abby.  They are in competition with each other for my undivided attention and that makes them rivals at this point in their little lives.   So they too, are already beginning the early stages of sibling rivalry and consequential fighting.

So breaking apart the relationship that is easy seems to be hitting me the hardest. 

But I realize that when Emily goes to school, new sibling combinations will form and different types of relationships will blossom.

I was struck by this very thing on the day that Emily and I ate lunch with Noah.

Noah was in full force mentor and teacher role on that day.

He was eager to explain the whole lunch routine to Emily; carefully walking her through the lunch line and explaining how many items she had to eat from her tray.

He wanted to introduce her to the Kindergarten teacher.

We went to recess and he was so inclusive and gentle with her; even among his friends.  He squatted ever so slightly so he could look her directly in the eyes as he asked her if she wanted him to take her up on the playground equipment so she could go down the slide.

I even saw him gently place his hand behind her back as he helped her navigate the playground equipment buzzing with shouting kids who were much bigger than her.

He asked her to join in his game of tag; being sure to point out who the "it" person was and showing her how to slide down a slide to escape being caught.

He was doing all of the things I have always hoped he would do.

Protecting her.  
Guiding her.  
Leading her.  
Encouraging her.

So as sad as I am about Molly and Emily's relationship changing next year, I'm also looking forward to what this change might bring for developing and strengthening the relationship between my biggest kids.

And the two littles who will be left at home with me...

I think there might be hope for their little relationship too!  Maybe a whole new generation of babies will be born, new vacations will be planned,  new dances will be learned, and new dress up combinations will be made.  

That's one of the neat things about having multiple siblings, I think.  

At different times in their lives, there will be different combinations and different relationships among them.  

And in the very end, I hope all of these different combinations grow and change throughout the years; one day adding up to a big group of siblings who love each other, like each other, support each other, and count each other as some of their very best friends.